"None of your friends business...."

Reminder :: “Ain’t None of Your Friends Business“….


I want to discuss what I think to be an issue all of us have had to address at some points in time.

The line you have to draw between the relationship that you're in. The relationship you have with your girlfriends. And the relationship between those two relationships….

You can’t be in a romantic relationship and not have an outlet to communicate with. Now fellas this doesn’t mean we’re out telling all of your business, or even our own. It just means that every now and then we need to express some things. Our girls offer input on a situation that may be going on. Not because their input overrides our own, but more because we want another perspective from someone who has our best interest at heart.

And THAT’S where the issue usually arises.

Because sometimes, at least once in a lifetime…..a girlfriend goes ROGUE.

[Rogue - a dishonest or unprincipled person; scoundrel; rascal; playfully mischievous; deceitful; vicious & solitary]

That’s right ROGUE.

That turn to the dark side. They succumb to some type of feeling of jealousy, greed, or maybe just plain old hate. Maybe to them it’s a survival tactic. But to you they were just working undercover.

And you may believe it’s impossible and it VERY well might be. However your man knows it’s possible. Chances are he’s seen it PLENTY of times. Because when girlfriends go ROGUE they usually go into hiding with or for a man.

So what do you do? My advice…..balance.

You have to keep a proper balance in how much you disclose to your girls.

1. How much in terms of how often
2. And how much in terms of the details

Don’t just run and tell your business for the sake of telling. Because that’s gossiping about your own relationship. And that’s what your man doesn’t want. But if you’ve got something weighing heavy on your mind or heart, there’s nothing wrong with venting. But make sure that your telling what needs to be known. Be careful of what you tell. Because that’s behavior that can make a girlfriend go ROGUE. From telling how good your man is to you, to telling how bad he is.

-If your bragging about what he does for you, it can in return cause a jealous reaction within your friend. She can began wanting what you have.
- If your complaining about what he doesn’t do. How he treats you…then that can create a bad relationship between your girls and your man. Because what you can get over, they sometimes can’t.
* And it goes both ways ladies. You also have to be careful what you tell your man about your girls. For starters whether they’ll admit it or not they judge us a little off of the company we keep. And if what you're saying about your friends isn’t making them look good in his eyes, it’ll deter him from wanting you to spend time with them. Understandably so.

Balance……

In order for these two relationships to coexist, both have to be nurtured. Show no favoritism. It honestly does require effort from you. But at the same time there are some things that both parties should be understanding of.

Like “ladies night”

Or “girlfriend emergencies“. Instances where a girlfriend’s immediate issue
can take precedence over almost everything. You might have to cancel something
to go tend to her. But he should respect and understand your relationship with
her. And appreciate that loyalty in you.

Extra shit that you may go out your way and do for one of your girlfriends. He
can’t be jealous or bothered by it…..

But your girls need to be just as understanding. They might not get as much time as their use to. You might not be interested in the same things you were into. Especially clubbin or partying….

These changes should come as no surprise to your girls because every lady knows there are some things that must change when you're in a romantic relationship. Point blank and that should go without explanation.

You’ve got to connect these two relationships in positive settings….fair ground.

Be weary of bringing your man to spots or events that are usually your chill spots with your girls. For one, you and your girls are prone to behave in certain ways, at specific locations. ESPECIALLY your party spots. Not to say you’ll be out of control, but you may want to be careful of the type of light you shine on your girls.

3rd wheel dates are a possibility. (A date with you, your man & a girlfriend) but in the words of my sister “they should come few and far in between”.

It may take you initiating activities that are comfortable and engaging for your man and girls. But you should be willing to make the needed effort.